Strange it is these almost empty places in my brain
where cooties sometimes live and nothing else…
keeping house with little to nothing
as company.

For weeks
I’ve sat sifting through these myriad brain cubbies
looking for the words I’ve seemed to have lost or misplaced
in order to
write a poem…
express the myriad feelings that move and swell within my heart and soul
only to find instead some ghostly
bits and pieces of used
discarded and forgotten memories
and yesterday’s dreams
and ends of sentences
unfinished thoughts scattered here and there
in shadowy places
and decaying spaces
and unused corners of my mind
and I call out into these wastelands of my brain
and nothing stirs.

I have tried to call up a thought I believed to be in there…
Or a word to feelings I once had and have
but none come when called
ignoring
forgetting
pretending
refusing.

I’ve wanted to share musings and perplexions…
ideas and wisdom with you as freely as in the past
perhaps a poem or two
writing them down
conjuring up words as I had before
writing
writing
writing
but not a hint of cooperation.
None.

As if every word available to write and express
had fled
disappeared
gone awol.

Where are these words
that once came freely when I called out to them
in the bright of day
the wee hours of the morning
in the midst of a dream
from the back of a horse
from the seat of the car?

I don’t know.
I only know there is a mind void
a brain freeze
and really empty places where thoughts once roamed
and lived freely and openly and easily.
What purpose serves me that they should flee?

Exhausted
frustrated
and quite ‘out of my mind’
I have chosen simplicity and not to
ponder
consider
assume
delve
pass judgment
and reason upon the why of it.

Rather sit I would amidst the vastness
of these nearly empty places in my brain
and give wait.

I am still waiting.

It is right for me to do so.
The words will flourish once again.
My soul whispered so.

So…
until they come
and the long sentences return
accept this small writing as a way
of reading my heart from an unwritten voice
a quieter voice
a word-lesser voice
and know that you remain loved
as we experience and seek through our journeys
the Divine expression of God.

Fly again and touch Her face
and do so with joy
care
passion
and promise
as you travel this continuing journey to Somewhere and Everywhere.

Bashwama “Go in Peace”

All my love.
kimberly millen brown June 29 2012